Parenting is hard enough without having to worry about getting ambushed by a pack of Squishmallows. But trust me, it can happen. One minute you're enjoying a peaceful moment of quietude, and the next thing you know, there's a horde of cuddly creatures bearing down on you with squeals of "hug me!" Here's how to survive.
The first step is to remain calm. I know it's difficult when you're surrounded by so much cuteness but try to remember that these are just stuffed animals. They can't hurt you. Unless, of course, they're armed with sharp teeth or claws. In which case, you might want to consider using them as weapons. Not ideal, but better than being mauled by a bunch of plushies.
If possible, try to make yourself as small a target as possible. Curl up into a ball or hide behind something. If all else fails, use your body as a shield to protect your face and vital organs. I know it sounds crazy, but remember, these are Squishmallows we're talking about. They're not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed.
Once you've survived the initial onslaught, it's time to take decisive action. Gather up all the Squishmallows you can find and put them in time-out. That's right, send them to their rooms and don't let them out until they've had a chance to calm down and think about what they've done. Maybe then they'll learn their lesson and leave you alone next time. But probably not. Let's be real here.
Dealing with Squishmallows can be tricky business. But if you follow these simple steps, you should be able to survive even the most vicious of attacks. Just remember to stay calm, make yourself as small a target as possible, and use your body as a shield if necessary. And if all else fails, put them in time-out until they learn their lesson...even though they probably won't. Good luck!
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