Ah, love.

You're all excited about your best friend, cousin, or maybe that college roommate you haven't seen in years, tying the knot. But there's one aspect of the wedding that doesn't involve fancy dresses or free champagne, and it's the daunting task of writing the perfect wedding card message.

We've all been there - scouring the internet for tear-jerking quotes, panicking as our pen looms over that perfect blank card.

But worry not, esteemed wedding guests!

Grab your favorite pen, a slice of wedding cake, and buckle in for our guide on how to write a hilariously heartwarming wedding card message.

1. Acknowledge Their Milestone (or Misery, Depending on Your View)

It's essential to recognize that our beloved bride and groom are reaching a monumental milestone, full of joy, love, and possibly decades of debate over which color towels match the bathroom curtains. Try something like:

"Congratulations on finally finding someone who can tolerate your snoring! Let the lifelong remote-control debate begin!"

2. Nostalgia Never Fails

A trip down memory lane is always a nice touch. After all, your friends have truly come a long way from those fuel-infused karaoke sessions! Paint a vivid picture of the past and allow them to laugh at how far they've come.

"Who would have thought you'd meet your soulmate at that regrettable college toga party? Miracles do happen!"

3. Jazz Up the Generic Messages

There's nothing wrong with using a pre-established quote or a line from a romantic movie. But a little twist of humor goes a long way in giving your message that extra edge.

Instead of "Marriage is not about finding the person you can live with; it's about finding the person you can't live without…" Try "Marriage is about finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

4. Predict Their Future (With Sarcasm)

With the couple stepping into their "happily ever after," add some witty foreshadowing to predict what their future together might hold.

"Here's to a lifetime of laughter, love, and an endless supply of toilet paper!"

5. Don't Forget the Inside Jokes (But Keep it Classy)

Sharing a funny memory or private joke with the couple can be the cherry on top. It not only adds a personal touch but pokes fun at unique quirks that make the couple truly special.

"May your love for each other grow stronger than [Groom's Name] love for his Star Wars collection."

Remember to keep it light, funny, and above all, heartfelt.

After all, it's supposed to come from a place shared between you and the people who (hopefully) won't hate you if you catch that bouquet.

Still Stuck?

When it comes to writing a wedding card sentiment, there is actually a lot of science behind how to craft the perfect message. Here are a few tips and insights from an author's perspective:

  1. Use an active voice: Instead of writing in a passive voice, use active verbs to make your message more engaging and dynamic. For example, instead of saying "Congratulations on your wedding day," say "We're thrilled to celebrate with you on your wedding day."
  2. Connect with your audience: Remember that your message is being read by the happy couple, so use "we" and "you" language to make a personal connection. This shows that you're celebrating their love and happy for their new life together.
  3. Use positive language: People often remember the first and last things they hear or read, so use positive language that will stick with the couple. For example, instead of saying "We hope you don't get divorced," say "May your love last a lifetime!"
  4. Consider the tone: Think about the tone of the wedding and how formal or casual it is. If it's a fun, casual wedding, feel free to use a bit of humor. If it's a more formal event, stick to a more elegant tone.
  5. Be concise: Wedding cards often have limited space, so make sure your message is concise and to the point. You can always expand upon your thoughts in a separate note or conversation with the couple.
  6. End with well wishes: Congratulate the couple on their marriage and offer your well wishes for their future. This is a great way to close out your message and leave a lasting impression.

By following these tips and writing from the heart, you're sure to craft a beautiful and meaningful wedding card message that the happy couple will treasure for years to come.

BUT...

What if you don't like any of these suggestions?

Then here are some other options for writing the perfect wedding card message with a funny twist - quotes from knows and unknowns:

"Marriage is like a movie. It starts with a big, romantic kiss and ends with you wishing you had a stunt double." - Unknown

"Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?" - Groucho Marx

"I thought weddings were supposed to be fun, but all this love makes me want to puke" - Liz Lemon from 30 Rock

"As Shakespeare once said, 'Marriage is a tale of sound and fury, signifying nothing.' Congrats!" - Unknown

"May your love be like a hot fudge sundae - sweet, delicious, and impossible to resist." - Unknown

"Congratulations on choosing the person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Unknown

"To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." - John Lennon

"May the joy you feel today last as long as it takes for you to get your wedding photos back." - Unknown

"Marriage is a partnership where one person is always right and the other is the husband." - Unknown

"Cheers to the happy couple - two hearts that beat as one... until the mortgage, kids, and in-laws show up." - Unknown

"There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage." - Martin Luther King

"As the great philosopher Kanye West once said, 'Gold diggers gonna dig, but true love is priceless.' Congrats!" - Unknown


And there you have it, ladies and gents! These tips should guide you in crafting a wedding card message that's as unforgettable as the couple themselves.

I hope these suggestions help you add some humor to your wedding card messages!


Enjoy this episode of "You Bet Your Life" where Groucho Marx shares his views on marriage from 1960!


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